Are you listening?

  Although I honestly could not handle much of the Scarry reading, her point on pain as the unmaking of language absolutely had an effect on me. More and more I'm trying to find other things which cannot actually be spoken and expressed independently. Conversely I've also been thinking about my own communication of pain.  I never realized how much we need to communicate our most minute experiences at all times. It seems as if as a culture we only feel our feelings and actions are validated if they are somehow observed and judged- why update your facebook status if not to have someone click the 'I like' button. Our most personal moments, worst break ups, most awful hangovers and lowest failing grades are the first things we publish publicly. Is that a release of our pain- if Scarry is looking for a recreation of language, I propose that things like twitter are a new language medium. People seem to be afraid to take their pain and suffer in silence- something which can actually be really valuable because its an important time for introspection, (is that a word? Did I just make that up??). Scarry speaks about our inability to explain pain to others, but I feel like it is more important to our society to simply have others recognize the fact that we are in pain- do we look for empathy or sympathy? Do we want pity or to know we are not alone- that we are in fact not unique, though we attempt to stand out with clever status updates and deep quotes. Are our feelings only real if someone else realizes them? 

    Obviously communication is important, but more and more it seems like it consumes us. Everything we do is about communicating a message to others- what we wear, what we say, where we go etc. We define ourselves through other people's experiences of us. What about how we feel? I am so consumed by the meaning of all that I say and do- that I have no idea what it means to me- or even what it means to be me! Why do I need others to listen to who I am- isn't this the central idea behind a 'blog' in the first place? The journals we lock and keep away from nosy siblings are no longer enough- our privacy isn't what we value it's our publicity. When did the moment occur when we went from coveting the safe, private, me-centered space of a journal to using blogs as a way of prostrating our innermost feelings and thoughts so that our deepest selves can be reified by an 'i like' button or a 'comment'.  I'm bitter.